Dear Lady Gaga,
I know you will probably never read this letter, but I was compelled to write it after seeing your interview with Oprah on YouTube on January 8, 2020.
I was deeply moved by your willingness to be open and vulnerable about your health issues. My heart went out to you as you talked about your excruciating physical pain and its connection to the rape you experienced at 19. I am so sorry for all that you have gone through and the debilitating emotional and physical pain that has accompanied it.
I am so proud of you for having the courage to speak openly about your experience because there are so many who are still suffering in silence and shame over what has happened to them in their past. Forgive me for sounding so motherly, but I really am old enough to be your mother! I’m so sorry that you had no safe place to take your pain at 19.
I’m writing this letter largely because my 35 year old daughter, Kellie called me the other day saying, “Mom, you have to listen to this podcast of Oprah’s interview with Lady Gaga. Everyone is talking about it and Lady Gaga shared about her abuse and the effects it had in her life. Mom, it’s time. You’ve been talking about these things for over 30 years, but now, people are listening.”
It’s true. I am a therapist and have been speaking and writing about sexual abuse recovery for over 3 decades. But, it was not just my clinical practice that gave me the credibility to address this topic. I am also a sexual abuse survivor. Your story is such a powerful example of something I’ve been teaching audiences about for years. When educating them about the impact of abuse and trauma, I have often said that God never intended our bodies to be containers for deep emotional pain or unresolved trauma. He gave us our emotions to be able to express our feelings and give voice to the hurt, betrayal, and trauma we’ve experienced. When we hold the unspoken trauma inside, it begins to work degenerative processes in our bodies and we suffer such things as: IBS, Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus disease, Migraines, and Multiple Sclerosis just to name a few. Don’t get me wrong—this is not to say that everyone diagnosed with one of the above is a survivor of sexual abuse or trauma. But, what I am saying is that over these years I’ve seen an inordinate number of women who’ve experienced abuse also suffer from these and other physically debilitating conditions. The good news is, I’ve also witnessed those whose physical conditions seem to improve as they begin to give voice to their experiences and learn to grieve through the layers of loss in their lives. There is power and healing that accompanies expression and vulnerability, both for us and for others.
Lady Gaga, I want to thank you for your sincerity and commitment to fund research and innovation in the mental health field. We are complex beings, made in the image of God and there is so much to learn about how we are made and the purpose for which we were made. May God continue to use you and your life to bring hope and encouragement to many.
May God bless you!
Jan Frank, Licensed MFT, fellow survivor
“Behold, God desires truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part He will make me know wisdom.” Psalm 51:6
https://youtu.be/f8iNYY7YV04