We've been talking about how to mend a broken relationship and there were four things I suggested you begin to take:
- Take the initiative.
- Take inventory of the relationship.
- Take ownership/responsibility of your part.
- Take action.
Now let's look at what you should get:
- Get an unbiased perspective.
- Get honest feedback.
- Get wise counsel.
- Get your heart right.
Get an unbiased perspective from someone who you trust to be honest and who is not in direct relationship with the other person. Describe to this person the situation that seemed to cause the breach and ask for their perspective: What do you think is going on? Is there something deeper going on than I am aware of?
Get honest feedback from the same person you talked with above or someone who is neutral. After discussing the situation ask for feedback concerning your contribution: How do you view my responsibility in the breakdown of the relationship? Do you see this as a pattern in my life in other relationships? Are there issues here that I am blind to or in denial of? Do you hear any bitterness or harsh judgment in me?
Get wise counsel from a healthy, godly person whom you respect and admire. Ask this person: What, if anything, does the Bible have to say about this? How do you advise me to proceed? Have I done everything possible on my end to mend this relationship? Is there some specific action that you would advise for me to take at this time?
Get your heart right. Spend time with the Lord talking about what happened and how you see the situation. If you have trouble focusing, write out your thoughts in a prayer journal. Share with the Lord your unfiltered feelings. After you've been able to express it all to God, stop and sit in silence for 3 minutes. Just quiet your heart and breathe in deeply as you become aware of God's Presence with you. After your heart is calmed, ask God: Where was I wrong in this situation? Is there a deeper root You are trying to show me? What would you have me to do now? Take a moment and confess any sin that the Spirit of God has shown you. Remember that when the Spirit convicts us of sin it is not accompanied by shame or condemnation; it is imparted truth, but it comes with a warm and sweet invitation to acknowledge your sin and trust in Jesus' finished work on the Cross.
Next time, we'll look at the four things to give when mending a broken relationship.