Have I Failed My Children?

"You've got to serve up what you're cookin'." Dallas Willard

I'm feeling compelled to heed those words as I write this post. What does it mean to "serve up what you're cookin'"? It means to "serve up" whatever it is that God seems to be stirring in your own heart, in hopes that it may nourish others as well. Here goes!

I've been quite introspective lately. Too much so my husband and some friends might say, but nevertheless that's where I am. I've been pondering the mistakes, sinful choices and attitudes of my heart that have seemed to shape my adult children. I see some of the ways they struggle as adults and I surmise how my parenting style and personality may be contributing to their present condition. Granted, the therapist part of me is working over-time. I don't ever spend time wondering about how my parenting and personality contribute to their triumphs and success--just the "negative" stuff!

I've wondered if my adult children are destined to be burdened by my faults their entire lives. Will they ever be able to overcome my faulty parenting and character flaws? Will it take a lifetime to overcome as it seems to be taking with me? Can God override these mistakes? Can my sins and failures thwart God and His plans?

Do you ever wonder about such things? Are you afraid that you might "ruin" your kids for life? Do you wonder if God made a mistake in placing your children with you? What would you "undo" if you could? Is there a part of your heart that is broken over what you see as your failures? Are you willing to bring those areas into conversation with God?

Didn't I warn you--I'm thinking way beyond my limits! All this thinking has sparked a renewed interest in a particular person in Scripture. His name is Jacob. I've started reading about Jacob's life and I'm hoping to share with you over the next few posts what God has been showing me about the questions I've been pondering.

If you'd like to join me, you can begin reading in Genesis 25:19-34. This is our first glimpse into Jacob's life--and his destiny.